Beautiful Monster
by Emotive Gothika
Summary: "I don't care what other people think of you and I don't care what you think of yourself. If you think you're a monster, then I think you're a beautiful monster." Oneshot. Yaoi, shounen-ai, past mpreg, you have been warned!


**A/N:** This is my first mpreg fic and the idea came to my mind in the middle of the night, right when I was about to fall asleep! Really, why do the best ideas come to my mind when I'm about to fall asleep? Perverted little mind, keeping me awake with it's perverted little thoughts...

**Disclaimer:** I don't see any of the guys kissing or having sex with each other in KHR, so I must not be the owner...

**Warning:** Past mpreg, yaoi, shonen-ai, maybe a little language, OOC, and just a smidgen of angst.

**\~\~\~\~\~ Beautiful Monster ~/~/~/~/~/**

The walls of the nursery were colored a soft sky blue with large white clouds that seem to float by. A couple birds were also painted on the walls, most of them small and yellow, and the ceiling was painted a dark blue to mimic the night sky with a moon, a comet, and many stars painted onto it with glow-in-the-dark paint. A soft wall-to-wall carpet covered the floor of the nursery with a small play area in the corner and various toys scattered here and there, though it was going to be some time before they were actually used.

Everything that a baby needed, a changing area, a small wardrobe full of clothes for various occasions, toys, bottles, and everything else, can be found here. Of course, when a baby is born into a loving family, whether they were related or not, everyone would do anything for the precious new addition to the family.

A soft lullaby resonated through the nursery along with the creak of a rocking chair. Next to the window, there sat a petite young man who was cradling a bundle of blankets in his arms. Slowly he rocked back and forth, humming a soft lullaby to lull the baby to sleep. Soon enough, the baby's small eyelids closed and she fell asleep. With a small sigh, Tsuna stood up from the rocking chair and approached the crib that sat in the middle of the room.

Tsuna placed his sleeping child in the crib, tucking the blankets around her to keep her warm and arranging the many stuff toys that surrounded her. Most of the stuffed toys were of animals, but there were seven of them that were human plushies and looked like each of the Vongola Guardians. Tsuna's good friends, Haru and Kyoko, had made those plushies especially for his daughter.

Brown eyes strayed to the two plushies that sat next to each other and little apart from the other Guardian plushies, near his daughter's head. He looked at the one that was of him, then at the one that sat next to it, one with a scowling face and narrowed blue-gray eyes.

_It's been a year since I last saw him…_ Tsuna thought, feeling a familiar tightening in his chest. _One long year._

Tsuna shut his eyes and willed that tightening to fade away. A couple of deep breaths did the trick and he opened his eyes to smile down at the sleeping form of his daughter. He reached down and lightly ran his hand through his daughter's silky hair. Her hair was brown, like his, but was of a darker shade, almost brown-black. Her tiny chest rose and fell with each breath and Tsuna couldn't help but look towards the future, when she will be a grown woman, making her own path, her own way. She might have some siblings as well, but the Decimo couldn't be so sure about that.

Smiling a content smile, Tsuna retracted his hand and stepped away from the crib. He headed towards the door, switching off the light and looking back before leaving the nursery, the door kept open for precautionary measures.

The nursery was connected to Tsuna's room, so if any unknown and unwanted person were to enter, Tsuna would be the first to take him down. He had opted for a nanny to take care of his daughter, since he was a busy mafia boss, but he didn't want his child to not know her own parent. Tsuna wanted her to grow up in a family who loves her and will always take care of her. Of course, he didn't want to spoil her too much, but he was confident in his child-caring abilities as well as his Famiglia's.

Yawning widely, Tsuna prepared for bed, glad that all his work was finished earlier that night. He cleaned himself up and changed into a simple white tank top and pajama pants before switching off the lights and sliding under the comforter of his king-sized, four-post bed.

For a few minutes, Tsuna just laid there under the covers, listening to the silence of the room and staring at the canopy that hung over his bed. Moonlight shone through the large windows and illuminated the room, making the furniture glow in a magical, almost eerie way. Vaguely, Tsuna remembered the last time he had seen his Cloud Guardian, which had resulted into him getting impregnated.

It wasn't like Tsuna was bitter towards his Guardian. He just didn't know why Kyouya had to leave without even saying a thing. Tsuna had known Kyouya for more then ten years and he was used to Kyouya's aloof personality, but still, he would always say that he was leaving, even though he never told anyone where to. He could hear his voice in his mind now, "See you, herbivore."

It was a simple parting, but he had never said goodbye. Because saying goodbye meant that they will never see each other again. But if he didn't say goodbye, or even "See you, herbivore," did that mean he was coming back one day? Tsuna was sure Kyouya knew about their child, but why hasn't he contacted him in a year? Was Kyouya afraid?

To any other person who knew Kyouya, they would snort in disbelief at the thought of the Cloud Guardian being afraid. But to Tsuna, it didn't seem like such a far-fetched idea. He was sure that even the most feared man in Namimori had fears, though he hid it effortlessly. Kyouya was still human after all and every human had a fear.

Tsuna sighed and placed an arm over his eyes. It wasn't like him to be so depressed. He had admitted to himself long ago that he was in love with his Cloud Guardian, but it was still unknown to him whether Kyouya loved him back. Sure, they had sex which resulted to their child, but if Kyouya had left the day after, then it just meant he only wanted a quick fuck from the Vongola Decimo.

And yet, Tsuna couldn't bring himself to believe that. He wanted to know the truth straight from the horse's mouth. And if he had to wait forever, then he will, no matter what it takes.

With that thought in mind, Tsuna turned to his side and fell asleep.

**\~\~\~\~\~ Beautiful Monster ~/~/~/~/~/**

Tsuna jerked awake and he immediately sat up in his bed, brown eyes scanning his room, looking for anything that was out of place. His Hyper Intuition was telling him that something – he did not know what – was happening. It wasn't exactly telling him if that something was bad, but it was screaming for him to get out of bed and go into the nursery.

Slowly and quietly, Tsuna slipped off of his bed and made his way towards the open door of the nursery. He wasn't actually getting a bad vibe from there and he didn't really think that his child was in any danger, but his heart was beating hard against his chest. It was like the something that was about to happen – or maybe it was already happening? – was something he had been waiting for, for a long time,

Tsuna was at the door and he slowly peeked inside the nursery, keeping his presence unknown until he was able to identify the figure that was standing next to the crib. It was darker in the nursery for there was only a single window which was smaller then the ones in his room, not to mention the curtains that draped them. But Tsuna was able to see the tall silhouetted figure that stood next to the crib with his one hand poised on the railing that ran around the small bed. Tsuna could hear the blood pounding in his ears when he recognize the curvature of the figure's back, the long and lanky limbs, and the mop of dark hair that adorned his crown. Swallowing thickly, Tsuna stepped into the room, revealing his presence to the not-so unknown figure.

"K-Kyouya?"

The figure stiffened before slowly turning around to fully face Tsuna. Once he did, a cloud must've shifted in the sky outside, revealing the moon and letting its light shine more brightly through the smaller window of the nursery.

Tsuna's breath hitched in his throat when he saw it certainly was Hibari Kyouya who was standing there in front of him. He was wearing a simple white button-up shirt with the collar open to reveal a V of pale skin and black dress pant, not looking any different then the last time Tsuna saw him. Though his hair looked longer, much like back in his school days, and his eyes weren't so narrowed. In fact, those blue-gray orbs seemed tired and almost… sad.

"It is you," Tsuna said, lips slowly curving into a smile as he took a step towards his dark-haired Guardian. "You've come back, you've finally come back."

Kyouya gave Tsuna a small smile, which certainly surprised the Decimo, and he turned back around to gaze down on his sleeping child in the crib.

"I heard," Kyouya was a bit mortified when he was forced to clear his throat. "I heard that you had given birth three months ago."

"Yeah," Tsuna breathed out, though he wasn't so sure as to why he had felt relieved. "She looks like you, doesn't she?"

Kyouya grunted, agreeing with the Decimo, but Tsuna knew he wanted to say many more things. He felt it, his intuition was screaming it, that Kyouya was here to speak his mind, to say what he was truly feeling. Tsuna didn't know if he was happy about it, but he certainly wasn't angry about it and he did feel afraid of it.

"I bet that she'll be just like you, herbivore," said Kyouya, bringing Tsuna back to reality. "She'll be loyal and kind, gentle and helpful, just like you."

Smiling brightly now, Tsuna approached the crib, placing his hand on the railing while gingerly placing the other on Kyouya's shoulder and feeling relief when the older man didn't pull away. "She'll be like you too," he said, glancing at Kyouya's solemn face before bringing his eyes down to his child's sleeping one. "She'll be strong and independent, fearless and confident, just like you."

"But most of all," said Kyouya, reaching down and letting calloused fingers stroke the soft skin of his daughter's face. He had never felt such softness. Not even Hibird's feathers could compare to this smoother then silk skin. "She'll be a great leader, just like you."

A moment of silence passed between the two. Tsuna watched with loving eyes as Kyouya continued to stroke his daughter's skin. How he had longed, dreamed, and waited for this moment. Slowly, that hollow space in his chest was being filled and happiness was beginning to well up inside. But still, there was much to talk about with him. And he knew that it couldn't wait until morning.

Kyouya retracted his hand from his daughter's head and placed both on the railing. Tsuna saw him tightening his grip on the bar and he knew that it was going to start.

"I'm sorry," Kyouya said and that caught Tsuna by surprise. He wasn't expecting him to start off with that. "I'm sorry for making you think that it was only a one-time thing. I'm sorry for leaving you alone for such a long time and through your pregnancy no less. I'm sorry for disappearing on you and not contacting you and-"

Tsuna cut Kyouya off by grasping the older man's face and planting a soft kiss on his lips. Blue-gray go wide, but they softened and closed before Kyouya returned the kiss. Tsuna pulled away not a second later and he smiled up at the dark-haired man, his brown orbs twinkling somewhat in the dim light.

"Kyouya,' Tsuna said, his voice almost a whisper. "You don't need to say sorry. I have never held anything against you because I knew you'd be coming back to me, to us." Tsuna slowly closed his eyes and touched his forehead against Kyouya's, his breathing calm despite his heart beating like he had just ran a marathon. "Everyone else might be more then a little pissed off at you, but I will never hold a grudge against you, no matter what you do."

They stayed like that for a while, their foreheads touching and only the sound of their breathing, as well as their child's, can be heard. Then, Tsuna felt Kyouya shift under him and hands gripped his wrists, effectively pulling them away as his eyes opened and his heart seemed to have stopped when he saw tears leaking out of Kyouya's eyes.

Genuine salty tears.

"I don't deserve this," Kyouya choked out, his body shivering even though there was nothing to be cold about. "I don't deserve you or her." His blue-gray eyes flickered onto their sleeping child before they closed, tears still dripping out of them. "I'm not the best person to be the father to your child. I've killed, I've slaughtered, and I delight in the pain of others." Kyouya let out a bitter, humorless laugh as he lifted a hand and threaded it through his hair. "I gave you so much pain and so many burdens. I'm horrible. I'm a monster."

Kyouya laughed another bitter and humorless laugh again, tears still streaming down his face. Tsuna's eyes were downcast and unfocused as he listened to Kyouya's confession.

_So that's why…_

He was glad that Kyouya had finally let go of the lead weight on his mind, but he didn't like the way his Guardian was talking. It made his chest constrict on how low the former prefect really thought of himself. Degrading himself like that wasn't like the proud and invincible Hibari Kyouya he knew.

"You're not a monster," said Tsuna and Kyouya looked at him through wet and unfocused blue-gray eyes.

Slowly, lovingly, Tsuna reached out and grasped Kyouya's hand, bringing up so that the larger palm cradled his cheek. Tsuna briefly closed his eyes to the feel of the calloused hand on his cheek, a feeling that was vaguely familiar, and he opened his eyes again to look straight into Kyouya's eyes.

"The way you're talking, it makes me think that you're an impostor and not my Kyouya," Tsuna whispered and Kyouya flinched, looking away in shame. Tsuna tightened his grip on Kyouya's hand, causing the older man to look back at him. "I don't care what other people think of you and I don't care about what you think about yourself. If you think you're a monster, then I think you're a beautiful monster."

Kyouya's eyes grew wide, then they softened and more tears leaked out of them.

"How can you say that?" the Cloud Guardian whispered, eyes searching Tsuna's face.

Keeping his face apathetic for a moment, Tsuna released Kyouya's hand to grasp his face again. This time, Tsuna placed a soft kiss on the older man's forehead, letting it linger for a few seconds. Kyouya allowed his eyes to slip shut, relaxing in Tsuna's gentle grasp and relishing the feel of soft lips on his skin. Tsuna then pulled away, wiped the tears that stained his beloved's cheeks, before placing gentle kisses on both his eyelids.

When Tsuna pulled away, the two looked into each other's eyes, brown ones smiling while blue-gray ones searched for answers and forgiveness.

"I can say that because I love you Kyouya," said Tsuna.

And by the look of pure love on his face, Kyouya knew that he was telling the truth.

Kyouya felt like he was about to burst. He was vulnerable, probably the most vulnerable he had ever been in his entire life. One side of him, the carnivore side, was completely disgusted with the feeling and wanted to bite someone to death, but the other side, his more human side, felt so content and… happy. He felt genuinely happy.

Before he could stop himself, Kyouya's lips curved upwards into a smile. Tsuna's eyes went wide at the sight of his beloved smiling, but before he could comment on that, Kyouya swept him into his strong arms and pressed his lips onto Tsuna's. After giving out a small "Mmph!" of surprise, Tsuna let his eyes closed and he returned Kyouya's kiss, wrapping his arms around the older man's torso and pulling him closer then he had ever before. Gaining the confidence he had lost some time ago, Kyouya parted his lips and ran his tongue against the seam of Tsuna's own lips. The Decimo immediately gave the Cloud Guardian entrance, feeling like he was up on Cloud Nine when he felt Kyouya's tongue explore his mouth, tasting a long forgotten taste that was heavenly to his taste buds.

The two parted, taking in breath and eyelids slowly opening to take in the other's look of complete happiness and content. Both men's hearts were soaring and their feelings could not be described with mere words alone. They have waited for so long and now, they were here, together, in each other's arms like it was supposed to be.

Tsuna leaned in and gently brushed his lips against Kyouya's, softly whispering,"I love you," against his lips. Kyouya smiled and said the same three words with just as much emotion, if not more, and he was about to claim Tsuna's lips again with a small cry alerted both him and Tsuna.

The two let go o each other and looked inside the crib. They found that their daughter was awake and there was an irritable expression on her face as she squirmed beneath her blankets, face scrunched up as she choked out cries. Immediately, Tsuna reached down and lifted her up into his arms, cradling her and shushing her, trying to lull her back to sleep.

As Kyouya watched his beloved with his child, he couldn't help but feel so proud of the scene. A moment ago he was crying and angsting about not being able to be a good father or lover, but now all he wanted was to be a part of the scene before him. He yearned for it, for a life with the both of them. And he mentally bit himself to death at not realizing it sooner.

"Tsuna, can I…?" Kyouya hesitated, wondering if Tsuna would let him.

Tsuna looked at Kyouya and he instantly knew what the older man wanted. "Of course you can hold her," he said with a small chuckle and he went over to his Cloud Guardian and placed their daughter into his outstretched arms. "Be careful with her head," he cautioned as well, placing the child's head in the crook of Kyouya's left arm.

Kyouya's eyes were wide with wonder and awe. His daughter had stopped her protests when Tsuna had cradled her and now she was looking up at the unknown man with her large gray eyes, curiosity shining in them and tiny hands grasping the folds of his white shirt. She was so tiny and helpless, so light and fragile. It was an amazing experience for the Cloud Guardian to hold his daughter for the first time.

"Come Kyouya," said Tsuna and the older man looked up to see Tsuna standing by the rocking chair next to the window, smiling softly. "You can give her a bottle if you want."

Kyouya nodded curtly before he walked over to the rocking chair and settled in it, rocking softly with his daughter in his arms. Tsuna had retrieved an already made bottle of formula from a table nearby and he handed it to Kyouya, who took it nervously.

"Just press it to her mouth and let her drink," Tsuna advised, his dream of seeing his lover with their daughter coming true before his very eyes. "Don't tilt it too far or she'll hurt her neck and don't forget to rock while he she does and she'll fall asleep in no time."

Kyouya nodded silently and did what he was told. His daughter immediately began sucking on her bottle, taking breaths in between each suck while still staring up at Kyouya with her gray eyes. The Cloud Guardian slowly rocked the chair, watching his daughter drain her bottle as they looked into each other's eyes. It was a magical moment, though only Tsuna and Kyouya would remember it since their child was only a newborn.

"I almost forgot to ask you," Kyouya said suddenly, making Tsuna jump, and the older man slightly chuckled. "What's her name?"

Tsuna had to raise an eyebrow at that. "Why didn't you ask Kusakabe-san to tell you?"

"I wanted to personally hear it from you," was Kyouya's alibi and Tsuna felt his face flush as well as his heart soar.

"Well," said the Decimo, leaning down and wrapping his arms around Kyouya's shoulders. "Her name is… Nuvola."

It was Kyouya's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Nuvola?"

Tsuna laughed. "Yeah, it's Italian for cloud. She reminded me so much of you that I just had to name her that."

Kyouya smiled up at Tsuna, who only grinned back, and he shook his head a little as he looked down at little Nuvolo, who had had her fill of milk and was already sleeping in her father's arms. Kyouya removed the bottle from her mouth and just continued staring down at her, feeling that he would like to stay this way forever.

_I'm a beautiful monster huh? _Kyouya mused in his mind._ I guess I don't mind being that way, if it means that I can fight and have a family at the same time…_

And Tsuna sealed the deal when he leaned down and kissed Kyouya once again.

**\~\~\~\~\~ Owari ~/~/~/~/~/**

**A/N:** This has been edited in the year 2012! Well, not entirely... just Nuvola's name which was formerly Nuvolo. A reviewer of mine said that Nuvolo is the masculine form of the Italian word for cloud and since Nadia is Italian I'm going to take her word for it.

If you liked this story, please check out it's sequel entitled "Hedgehog, Lion, Raven, and Stag".

And, as always, please take the time to review! I'll give you freshly baked cyber cookies if you do! :3


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